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Beauty, Sexuality and Masculinity

Kugaruka Nsoromma Ashe Sankofa and Mikaël Chukwuma Owunna © Dushime


The use of the vocabulary "Guardians of The Gates" term used by Sobonfu Somé and Malidoma Somé is used to describe some people with specificities making them different from the rest of society according to a kemitic (black) paradigm. However, being aware that English is a foreign language, it should be mentioned that the term Guardians of The Gates is the most appropriate terms to name the particularity of these people who have been, and who are still wrongly considered as “LGBTQIA+”. The acronym “LGBTQIA+” is followed by definitions and concepts that are part of a Western context that does not correspond to the original Kemetic paradigm. This notion of “Guardians of the Gates” corresponds more to the “Two-Spirits” terminology used by the First Nations as well as to similar terminologies used by other indigenous people in their respective native tongue.


On April 1, 2020, I was dressed as usual in the Fall, Spring and Winter periods, with my chic coat that had been given to me by my former best friend to celebrate my 22 years in 2015. I had worn tights that highlighted both my long legs and the shape of my "Third Leg", shape that had not escaped the notice of the Boss of the company in which I worked until very recently. I had moreover very often comments about to this gigantic eggplant [The Phallic Obsession of some White Fetishisers] which has the particularity to distract the visual board of anyone who lingers there. The shoes that supported my feet were classic ankle boots with a round finish and very slightly pointed. [I am not a fan of pointinini, it is the exclusivity of Sapologists, not the Fashionista]. As you know when I walk, I very often think I'm at a fashion show (Is it the catwalk you want to see? Say it with a French Cameroonian accent, it's more interesting). It was in this momentum that I was heading to the bank and that I met one of my roommates with whom I exchanged a few words before going to my destination. On my return, I ran into him again and we walked together towards the house. That's when the conversation took another level.

Alassane*, by the way, I wanted to tell you that you are really handsome.

“Thank you,” I replied with a smile. And he added this.

–When I saw you coming from afar, I thought you were very handsome. I understand now why guys want to fuck you.

You read correctly and I had heard correctly. I was as shocked as you. Should I find it flattering that men want to rush towards me to satisfy their stamina because of my beauty? Answer: Yes and No.

–We've been living together for 2 months and it's now that you notice that I'm Handsome. It's probably because you see me every day.


–Even if I was one of yours, I would be interested in you, he had concluded.

Three things to remember from this interaction

Alassane* is my birth name. I'm in the process to change it legally to become officially Kugaruka.


Beauty, both physical and psychological, are attractions and assets to be taken into consideration and which govern our ways of perceiving a person whom we consider beautiful. The criteria of beauty differ and vary according to the cultures. The aesthetic appreciation that a person from my culture could relate to my beauty will be considered according to a different scale for an individual coming from another culture. I am aware that my beauty has an effect and can cause strong attraction, enthusiasm, admiration, magnetism but also envy/jealousy, comparison, complexes and confusion for some. The insidious effects of Colorism that stem from Racism made me realize that we live in a White Supremacy where my fair skin supposedly added value to my beauty compared to darker skin and that my fine features were necessarily synonymous of beauty in contrast to the typically "Bantu" features. Featurism was one of the elements of discord introduced by the German Colonizers among the Twas, Tutsis and Hutus who form one people and two nations in Uburundi | Urwanda in the Great Lakes region of Kamita (Africa). Obviously, I am grateful to Imana [Divine Source] for having graced me with this physical and psychic beauty. A beauty that is part of a plurality of beauties across the universe.


Could someone's Beauty question the sexual attraction you would feel for Women or Men? I believe that the Gatekeepers [LGBTQIA+], due to the Androgynous incarnation of our being have this particularity. Throughout 2019, I met many men or I should say midnight sex lovers [Kemits (blacks), Indians more particularly Sikhs, Hasidic Jews, Arabs, Latinos, Mixed, Whites] who showed me a strong interest. Most said they had never felt an attraction for a person with males attributes. For them, I was the first person they felt this attraction towards and that it had hypnotized some and disturb others. Some were captivated by my beauty, while others were focused on my feminine energy knowing that my body was masculine thus proving the Power and the Complexity of Guardians of the Gates.


Many men grow up without often taking the time to appreciate and compliment each other on their physique. Men also need to hear and know that they are handsome. An aspect that is neglected, but which can affect the esteem of many of them, who often mistakenly think that they are not legit or not handsome enough and thus develop complexes, that they will try to clumsily compensate for this insecurity. Men have an obsession, not to say a psychosis, of self-compliment. Telling another man that he is handsome would be risking being labeled as a Gay who, I remind you, is still perceived as someone undermining virility because his condition is associated with femininity and women considered wrongly as inferior. Thus, many Men prevent themselves from loving each other with a deep and sincere Friendly/Brotherly love [Like this friendship between Malcom X and Mohammed Ali] preferring to barricade themselves in positions of Egotic Domination.

My roommate is a handsome Kemit (Black) man, with a resplendent face, pleasing facial features to watch, a Travis Scott hairstyle, a lightly sculpted body with greatness of soul and spirit.

I didn't want to compliment my roommates (yes, they're both handsome) when I moved in, because I didn't want my appreciation would be seen as a sexual interest that would created discomfort or anxiety. For those who know me well, you know that I compliment with great fervor the Women, Men and Guardians of The Gates that I meet and whose beauty is undeniable and striking in the eyes. My roommates were not aware of this, they would most likely have misinterpreted my compliments especially because I express them with a strong presence and androgynous energy.

Always seek The Beauty of a person, even if you do not perceive it at first sight.


The cover photo features Kugaruka and Mikael Chukwuma Owunna.

Photography: Dushime

All Kugaruka's writings are legally protected in terms of Intellectual Property and Copyright.

© Kugaruka

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